I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Randomize
