the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
