I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
