Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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