do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
