So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Randomize
