Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
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