They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
