Fine. I'll sleep in my office
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
