Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
