I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
