problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
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he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
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BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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