I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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