You really coming over, don't trick.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
