I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
