You can't special order awesome
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
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