Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
