Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
You were trust falling into bushes
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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