no, he came in my armpit
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
