Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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