when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
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