Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
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