I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
