Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
