you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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