that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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