Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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