# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize