the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
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