it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
