no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
You're completely useless in the revolution.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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