so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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