YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
