He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Randomize
