there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
