Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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