Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
