No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
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