Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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