i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
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