In the future we'll all be gay
North Korea, Best Korea!
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
