Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
