he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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