yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
