chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
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He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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