Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
