Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
