I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
