who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Randomize
