He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
