But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
