ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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