also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
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Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
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Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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