$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
