So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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