You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Randomize