I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Randomize
