if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
