I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
