Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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