Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Randomize