I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Randomize
