I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
