Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
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