i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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