What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize