i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
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