and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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