if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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