Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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