i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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